March 23, 2026

Are You Being Realistic… or Being Faithful?

Are You Being Realistic… or Being Faithful?
Spotify podcast player iconApple Podcasts podcast player iconiHeartRadio podcast player iconPodcast Addict podcast player icon
Spotify podcast player iconApple Podcasts podcast player iconiHeartRadio podcast player iconPodcast Addict podcast player icon

"I'm just being realistic" — it sounds wise, grounded, even mature. But what if it's quietly keeping you from believing what God can actually do?

In Part 3 of The Language of Faith series, we look at one of the most socially acceptable ways we talk ourselves out of faith. Through the story of the ten spies in Numbers 13, we explore what it looks like when realism becomes a ceiling — and how Caleb and Joshua modeled a different kind of faith.

This week's question: Are You Being Realistic… or Being Faithful?

Is your realism rooted in what God can do — or only in what you can see?

 📩 Get A Quiet Invitation — weekly encouragement in your inbox: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/1717098/165207819752047949/share

✨ Encouragement for your spirit. Wisdom for your walk.

WEBVTT

00:00:18.800 --> 00:00:24.800
Let me start by saying something that might land a little differently than you expect today.

00:00:25.359 --> 00:00:33.359
Being realistic is one of the most socially acceptable ways to talk yourself out of faith.

00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:35.359
We say it all the time.

00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:40.079
I'd love to believe this could change, but I have to be realistic.

00:00:40.320 --> 00:00:42.000
Or I'm not giving up.

00:00:42.159 --> 00:00:45.039
I'm just being realistic about what's possible.

00:00:45.200 --> 00:00:53.359
Or maybe sometimes we even say, I trust God, but realistically, I don't see how this is going to work.

00:00:53.920 --> 00:00:56.880
And here's what makes it so tricky.

00:00:57.439 --> 00:01:01.039
That actually sounds wise when we say it.

00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:08.879
It sounds grounded, and it sounds like the responsible, mature, level-headed thing to say.

00:01:09.200 --> 00:01:14.959
But I want to ask you something today that I think is worth sitting with for just a few minutes.

00:01:15.519 --> 00:01:22.879
When you say, I'm just being realistic, whose reality are you referring to?

00:01:23.599 --> 00:01:28.480
Because there's your reality and then there's God's reality.

00:01:28.719 --> 00:01:32.879
And those two things are not always the same.

00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:35.519
Welcome to my question for you.

00:01:35.680 --> 00:01:42.799
I'm Melissa, and today we are in part three of our series called The Language of Faith.

00:01:43.120 --> 00:01:50.239
Each week, we've been slowing down to look at the everyday phrases we reach for when life feels a little uncertain.

00:01:50.480 --> 00:02:07.680
Because the way we speak about God, not in our polished Sunday after church language, but in our real unscripted moments, it's that way that we're speaking that reveals what we actually believe about God.

00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:14.400
In part one, if you think back, we asked, are you hoping or are you just wishing?

00:02:14.639 --> 00:02:24.319
And then in part two last week, we looked at whether our confidence is actually faith or if it's just optimism wearing a spiritual outfit.

00:02:24.560 --> 00:02:35.759
And today, today we're looking at a phrase that can quietly masquerade itself as wisdom, a phrase that sounds responsible and measured and even a little humble.

00:02:36.400 --> 00:02:46.639
My question for you today is this Is your realism rooted in what God can do or only in what you can see?

00:02:57.280 --> 00:03:05.199
Okay, so let's talk about this for a second because I want to be really clear about what I'm not saying.

00:03:06.400 --> 00:03:10.479
There's nothing inherently wrong with being grounded.

00:03:10.879 --> 00:03:14.159
Wisdom matters, discernment matters.

00:03:14.479 --> 00:03:19.439
Counting the cost before you leap into something, that matters.

00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:27.039
Jesus himself talked about the importance of sitting down and calculating before you build a tower.

00:03:27.280 --> 00:03:35.759
So this isn't about pretending problems don't exist or walking around in some kind of a spiritual bubble where nothing bad can touch you.

00:03:36.400 --> 00:03:38.639
But here's what I've been noticing.

00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:50.639
In my own life, and honestly in conversations that I've been having with so many of you lately, there is a particular kind of realism that quietly becomes a ceiling.

00:03:51.120 --> 00:04:08.000
Where instead of assessing a situation honestly and then bringing God into it, we assess the situation, we calculate the cost, and then conclude what God can and cannot do, all based on what we can and cannot see.

00:04:08.800 --> 00:04:16.639
And that is where realism stops being wisdom and starts becoming a substitute for our faith.

00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:18.240
And it's subtle.

00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:22.720
It genuinely does not feel like unbelief when you think about it.

00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:30.160
It doesn't feel like doubt, it feels like experience, like hard-earned perspective.

00:04:30.639 --> 00:04:35.040
It feels like you're finally being responsible about your own heart.

00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:39.920
But here's the question underneath the question today.

00:04:40.800 --> 00:04:47.600
If God is limited by what you think is possible, is He really God?

00:04:48.879 --> 00:04:52.560
Trust me, I'm not asking you that to be provocative.

00:04:52.959 --> 00:05:00.160
I'm not asking it because I think that it might stir something up or get people talking.

00:05:00.319 --> 00:05:07.360
I'm asking it because I have had to ask it to myself more times than I'm comfortable admitting.

00:05:08.000 --> 00:05:20.399
Because it is so easy, especially after after you've been through something, um, after a prayer that felt unanswered or after a door that stayed closed longer than you expected.

00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:29.680
It is so easy to start narrowing your expectations without even realizing that you're doing it.

00:05:30.079 --> 00:05:32.000
And we call it maturity.

00:05:32.240 --> 00:05:34.560
Sometimes we even call it growth.

00:05:34.800 --> 00:05:48.240
We call it not setting ourselves up for disappointment, but sometimes what it actually is is a ceiling that we've placed on what we believe God can do.

00:05:49.519 --> 00:05:55.199
So I want to take you to a story in scripture that I think captures this so perfectly.

00:05:55.360 --> 00:05:59.279
And I love this story because the people in it are not villains.

00:05:59.360 --> 00:06:00.639
They're not bad guys.

00:06:00.879 --> 00:06:02.959
They are just honest.

00:06:03.519 --> 00:06:07.199
They're just being real or realistic.

00:06:07.839 --> 00:06:10.160
We're in Numbers chapter 13.

00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:17.600
God has been leading the Israelites toward the land he promised them, a land flowing with milk and honey.

00:06:17.759 --> 00:06:18.800
We know the story.

00:06:19.040 --> 00:06:20.000
And they're close.

00:06:20.160 --> 00:06:21.680
They can almost see it.

00:06:21.920 --> 00:06:28.639
And Moses sends twelve spies ahead of them to scout things out before they move in.

00:06:29.279 --> 00:06:39.759
Twelve men, same mission, same land, same forty days of walking through it, eating the fruit, and studying the terrain.

00:06:40.079 --> 00:06:43.120
And yet they come back and give their report.

00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:53.279
Ten of them say this We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey.

00:06:53.839 --> 00:06:55.519
Here is its fruit.

00:06:55.839 --> 00:07:01.759
But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large.

00:07:02.079 --> 00:07:04.480
We can't attack those people.

00:07:04.879 --> 00:07:07.199
They are stronger than we are.

00:07:08.800 --> 00:07:13.120
And then, and this is the line that stops me every time.

00:07:14.800 --> 00:07:22.160
We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.

00:07:22.399 --> 00:07:25.680
That's in Numbers chapter 13, verse 33.

00:07:26.720 --> 00:07:29.279
Now, they were being realistic.

00:07:29.519 --> 00:07:36.160
They had data, they had evidence, they had spent 40 days walking through that land with their very own feet.

00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:40.079
By every measurable standard, they were right.

00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:47.040
The giants were real, the fortified cities were real, the size difference was real.

00:07:48.079 --> 00:07:51.040
But they made one critical error.

00:07:51.360 --> 00:07:55.680
They sized up the giants without factoring in God.

00:07:56.399 --> 00:08:00.000
They had watched God part the Red Sea.

00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:06.720
They had eaten manna, the bread that had appeared out of nowhere every single morning.

00:08:06.879 --> 00:08:10.639
They had followed a pillar of fire through a desert.

00:08:11.199 --> 00:08:23.600
And somehow, standing at the edge of the promised land, they looked at what was in front of them and they did the math without including the most important part.

00:08:25.040 --> 00:08:31.759
Two of the twelve spies, Caleb and Joshua, came back with a completely different report.

00:08:32.080 --> 00:08:36.559
Not because they saw things that were different than the other ten saw.

00:08:36.720 --> 00:08:39.919
They walked the same land, they saw the same giants.

00:08:40.240 --> 00:08:50.240
But Caleb stood up in front of the whole assembly and said, We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.

00:08:51.279 --> 00:08:59.679
Now, same giants, same fortified cities, same impossible odds, but different faith.

00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:02.480
And here's what I don't want you to miss.

00:09:02.960 --> 00:09:05.759
The ten spies were not bad people.

00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:10.320
They were not being dramatic or intentionally faithless faithless.

00:09:10.559 --> 00:09:13.840
They were doing exactly what felt responsible.

00:09:14.080 --> 00:09:17.919
They were being realistic about what they had seen.

00:09:18.399 --> 00:09:26.799
But their realism was only anchored to their own capacity, and it left God completely out of the equation.

00:09:27.440 --> 00:09:28.960
That's the danger.

00:09:29.279 --> 00:09:37.200
Not that we see things clearly, but that we forget who is standing with us when we do.

00:09:38.240 --> 00:09:48.000
But here's the thing that I want you to just sit with for a second, because I think there's something even deeper happening in that verse that I really don't want to rush past.

00:09:49.039 --> 00:09:56.000
Let's go back to the verse that says, We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes.

00:09:57.200 --> 00:10:04.240
Before they ever worried about how the giants saw them, they had already shrunk themselves.

00:10:04.960 --> 00:10:08.960
And isn't that uh just incredibly honest?

00:10:09.279 --> 00:10:11.840
Because I think we do this constantly.

00:10:12.000 --> 00:10:16.639
We look at the obstacle, we look at ourselves, and then we compare the two.

00:10:16.960 --> 00:10:25.519
We do the math, and before God ever gets a word in, we have already reached a verdict about our own smallness.

00:10:25.759 --> 00:10:29.360
We say things like, I'm not qualified enough for that.

00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:32.240
Um, I've tried this before and it didn't work.

00:10:32.799 --> 00:10:36.000
People like me don't get outcomes like that.

00:10:36.480 --> 00:10:40.799
I've been praying about this too long for it to be possible.

00:10:42.159 --> 00:10:44.559
And we call it being realistic.

00:10:45.440 --> 00:11:05.440
But sometimes what is actually happening underneath all of that is a grasshopper mentality, a deeply held, maybe even deeply buried belief about our own smallness that we have never brought to God and said, is this actually true?

00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:09.759
Or is this just fear with a good vocabulary?

00:11:09.919 --> 00:11:12.080
Am I just dressing up words?

00:11:12.879 --> 00:11:19.039
Because here's the thing about the ten spies, they weren't wrong about the giants.

00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:23.360
The giants were exactly as big as they said they were.

00:11:23.840 --> 00:11:26.720
But they were wrong about one thing.

00:11:26.960 --> 00:11:34.960
They forgot about the God who had already parted seas and rained down bread from heaven and led them by a pillar of fire.

00:11:35.360 --> 00:11:37.759
They had seen what God could do.

00:11:38.159 --> 00:11:42.399
They had firsthand experience of his faithfulness.

00:11:42.720 --> 00:11:47.600
They just forgot to factor it in when the situation got scary.

00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:50.000
And I think we do the same thing.

00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:52.720
We have our own history with God.

00:11:52.960 --> 00:12:02.399
Moments where he came through, where something shifted that had no business shifting, where a door opened that you weren't sure was ever going to open.

00:12:02.879 --> 00:12:05.679
And then a new hard thing comes along.

00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:10.159
And somehow all of that history starts to get a little quiet.

00:12:10.320 --> 00:12:12.159
And we start doing the math again.

00:12:12.240 --> 00:12:14.799
We start trying to figure it out in our own head.

00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:17.519
We start just being real.

00:12:18.879 --> 00:12:25.600
So here's where I want to flip this, because I think there is a kind of realism that is holy.

00:12:25.759 --> 00:12:27.200
And it looks like this.

00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:39.519
If we go to uh Isaiah chapter 55, verses 8 and 9, it says, For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:49.519
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

00:12:50.879 --> 00:12:54.240
God isn't saying your circumstances aren't real.

00:12:54.639 --> 00:12:57.440
He's not saying the giants aren't tall.

00:12:57.759 --> 00:13:02.320
He is saying your frame is too small.

00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:18.000
When we say I'm being realistic, what we're often actually saying is I'm anchoring myself to what is visible, to what is measurable, and within the scope of my understanding.

00:13:18.639 --> 00:13:26.720
And what God is saying in Isaiah chapter 55 is that's a very limited reality that you're working from.

00:13:27.039 --> 00:13:34.879
God is trying to remind us that his ways are higher, that his thoughts don't run on our logic.

00:13:35.360 --> 00:13:41.200
What looks finished from where you're standing is not finished from where I'm standing.

00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:49.039
What looks like a closed door to you might be a hallway that God is still walking you through.

00:13:49.759 --> 00:14:05.039
That is a different kind of realism, a bigger realism, one that is honest about the hard thing in front of you and convinced about the God who is behind you, the God who's standing right beside you.

00:14:05.600 --> 00:14:10.639
You know, I love how Caleb and Joshua model this so clearly.

00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:13.600
They are not pretending the giants don't exist.

00:14:13.759 --> 00:14:15.360
They know it, they've seen them.

00:14:15.600 --> 00:14:19.679
They're not skipping through the land saying everything looks great and there are no problems.

00:14:19.840 --> 00:14:20.799
They see it all.

00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:22.480
They see it plainly.

00:14:22.720 --> 00:14:26.720
And they still come back and say, we can do this.

00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:33.840
Not because the odds had changed, but because they knew who was standing with them.

00:14:34.559 --> 00:14:43.519
Biblical realism isn't the absence of difficulty, it's the presence of God factored into that difficulty.

00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:50.720
Now, I want to stay here for a minute because I don't want to leave you with the wrong takeaway.

00:14:51.039 --> 00:14:54.399
Because there is a version of this that's wisdom.

00:14:54.559 --> 00:14:57.519
And I think it's important to be able to tell the difference.

00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:01.840
There is a holy version of realism.

00:15:02.559 --> 00:15:15.120
There's a kind of careful, prayerful discernment that looks at a situation honestly and then says, okay, God, what do you want me to do with what I'm seeing here?

00:15:15.919 --> 00:15:17.279
That is wisdom.

00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:19.360
That is good stewardship.

00:15:19.679 --> 00:15:25.360
That is using the mind God gave you in the way He intended for you to use it.

00:15:25.919 --> 00:15:36.480
But there is also a fear-based version, the version that looks like wisdom, but is really self-protection with a spiritual label on it.

00:15:36.799 --> 00:15:44.080
The version where I'm being realistic is how we quietly close a door God never told us to close.

00:15:44.320 --> 00:15:54.639
It's where we cite our circumstances as the reason we've stopped praying about something, where we've decided what's possible and parked there.

00:15:55.279 --> 00:15:59.279
And here's the diagnostic question I keep coming back to.

00:15:59.440 --> 00:16:03.279
And honestly, it's the question I want to give you today.

00:16:04.399 --> 00:16:10.000
Is your realism leading you toward God or away from Him?

00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:17.519
Genuine discernment keeps you in a conversation with God even when things look hard.

00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:28.720
It says, I see this, I don't understand it, I don't know how it's going to turn out, but I am staying in the conversation.

00:16:29.919 --> 00:16:35.919
Doubt dressed as realism ends the conversation before God gets a word in.

00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:45.679
It makes the assessment, it reaches the verdict, and it files the outcome under just being realistic, and then it moves on.

00:16:46.159 --> 00:16:50.080
And I don't say that to make you feel guilty about the times you've done that.

00:16:50.240 --> 00:16:51.600
I've done that myself.

00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:56.960
I say it because I have done that, and I think a lot of us have too.

00:16:57.120 --> 00:17:01.759
So I just want you to know you're not alone in that train of thought.

00:17:02.080 --> 00:17:06.640
But I also think there's something really freeing about naming it.

00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:14.160
Because once you can see it, you can bring it to God instead of just carrying it around as a conclusion.

00:17:15.680 --> 00:17:22.000
So let me bring this home because I want this to land somewhere practical for you this week.

00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:29.119
Maybe there's a dream you quietly retired because it stopped looking plausible.

00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:33.440
You just couldn't see how it could ever possibly happen.

00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:40.720
Maybe there's a prayer you've stopped praying because it's been so long and nothing seems to be moving.

00:17:41.279 --> 00:17:47.200
Maybe there's a relationship, a situation, a hope, something you have filed under.

00:17:47.519 --> 00:17:50.000
I need to be realistic about this.

00:17:50.960 --> 00:17:54.480
I'm not here to tell you to ignore what you see.

00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:58.559
I'm not asking you to pretend the giants aren't there.

00:17:58.960 --> 00:18:07.440
I'm asking you to add one more voice to the conversation before you close that file, before you call it complete.

00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:10.720
What does God say about this?

00:18:11.359 --> 00:18:18.799
What has He already spoken over the situation, over the season, over that person, over that dream?

00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:32.400
And maybe most importantly, what has he already done in your own story that you might be forgetting to factor in right now?

00:18:32.960 --> 00:18:38.480
Because here's the thing about Caleb, he didn't look at the giants and pretend they weren't there.

00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:45.759
He looked at them fully, honestly, completely, and said, We can do this.

00:18:46.559 --> 00:18:55.359
Not because the odds changed, not because the giants suddenly looked smaller, but because he knew who was standing with him in that moment.

00:18:56.000 --> 00:19:02.079
And God is still in the business of walking with people into the scary places.

00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:04.559
He was faithful to Caleb.

00:19:05.119 --> 00:19:07.440
He has been faithful in your story.

00:19:07.599 --> 00:19:12.240
And I want you to know and to believe that he is not done yet.

00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:18.640
So this week, when I'm just being real realistic, starts to rise up in you.

00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:26.799
I want you to just pause for a second, take a breath, and add one more question before you let your thoughts settle there.

00:19:27.200 --> 00:19:30.880
I want you to just think, what does God say?

00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:38.079
Because his reality is always bigger than the one you can see from where you're standing.

00:19:38.319 --> 00:19:44.480
And his ways are higher than anything you can calculate on your own.

00:19:54.880 --> 00:20:02.640
Okay, before I let you go, I just want to say something to whoever needs to hear this today.

00:20:03.599 --> 00:20:07.119
God is not intimidated by your giants.

00:20:07.920 --> 00:20:11.839
He is not caught off guard by your circumstances.

00:20:12.400 --> 00:20:20.160
And he has never once looked at your situation and said, I have to be realistic about this.

00:20:21.279 --> 00:20:41.119
He is the God who parts ease, who turns mourning into dancing, who calls things that are not as though they were, who has been faithfully, quietly, persistently at work in your story in ways you may not have even seen yet.

00:20:41.680 --> 00:20:44.480
The ten spies were not bad people.

00:20:44.880 --> 00:20:48.240
They were honest people who forgot to factor in their God.

00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:51.680
And I think there is a lot of grace for that.

00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:55.519
Because it is a very human thing to do.

00:20:56.240 --> 00:21:08.000
But I also think we are capable of being a Caleb, of holding the hard thing honestly, and trusting the God who holds us.

00:21:08.559 --> 00:21:14.880
Of being people who see the giants clearly and still say, we can do this.

00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:22.160
Not because we are impressive, but because he is faithful.

00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:34.240
Next week, we're gonna keep taking a look at this series and going in this series with another phrase I think a lot of us have said more than we even realized.

00:21:34.559 --> 00:21:38.319
That's the phrase, I'll believe it when I see it.

00:21:39.039 --> 00:21:44.559
We're gonna ask whether we are people of evidence or people of promise.

00:21:45.279 --> 00:21:48.319
And I think it is going to be a really good conversation.

00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:52.799
So I really, really hope you'll stay with us through this series and join us again next week.

00:21:53.039 --> 00:21:59.599
And until then, keep asking, keep listening, and keep expanding what.

00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:01.519
You believe God can do.

00:22:11.759 --> 00:22:17.200
Before you go, if today's question stayed with you, I'd love to keep the conversation going.

00:22:17.839 --> 00:22:32.400
Each week I send a short email called This Week's Question, a Quiet Invitation, and it's a simple reflection to help you stay grounded, to pay attention, to dive deeper into God's Word, and to walk with God throughout your week.

00:22:32.640 --> 00:22:40.880
You can sign up at myquestion for you.com, bringing you encouragement for your spirit and wisdom for your walk.