Why Me?

There's a question that has stopped a lot of good people dead in their tracks. Sometimes it comes as frustration. Why me? Why is this happening to me? Why am I always the one who struggles with this? Sometimes it comes wrapped in comparison. Why does it seem so easy for everyone else? Why do they get that and I'm still here? And sometimes the version that's hardest to admit, it comes as a deep, quiet ache about who you are. Why did God make me this way? Why am I wired this way? Why do I keep coming up short? Those are real questions. Because I think why me is one of the most honest prayers we ever pray. It's the cry of someone who is confused about their own story, someone who wonders if they got the wrong assignment. Someone who's not sure they're enough for what they're being asked to carry. Hi, I'm Melissa, and this is My Question for You. Welcome back to season three and to our series, The Question Behind the Question. Each week, we're following a question we carry past the surface down to what's really underneath it. Because I believe that that's where the real conversation with God begins. So last week we sat with the question, why is this taking so long? And we discovered that the question underneath it was, do I actually trust God's timing? So today, we're sitting with why me? And the question behind that question, the one that's quietly driving everything, is am I trusting God with who I am? Or am I performing for his approval? This question carries a lot of weight, so let's just take a second before we dive in. Because why me is one of those questions that can mean very different things depending on the season you're in. So I think we need to name all of them before we figure out which one we're actually asking. Okay, so sometimes why me is a question of suffering. It's Job sitting in the ashes, looking at everything he's lost and saying, God, why is this my story? Sometimes it's a question of purpose. It's Moses standing at the burning bush, looking at the assignment in front of him and saying, God, why would you send me of all people? Why me? And sometimes, if we're really honest, it's a question about our own worth. It's standing in front of a mirror, we're laying awake at night and whispering, why am I like this? Why can't I get it together? Why do I keep struggling with the same things over and over again? All of those are real honest questions. And here's what they have in common. They all carry a question underneath them, not about the circumstances, but about identity. See, God does really know what he's doing. But sometimes we find ourselves saying, because does God really even know anything about me? Does he know what he's doing with me? Does he see me accurately, or did he make a mistake? Does he have a plan for someone like me? Or did I somehow fall through the cracks? Am I the person he meant to make? Or did something go wrong? That's the real question. And today we're gonna walk together to the root of the question. Because I think there's someone listening right now who has been quietly living like maybe God knows what he's doing everywhere else, just not quite with you. And I want to gently, lovingly tell you that is not the truth. So let me show you why. I want to take you to a story in Exodus that I think is one of the most human moments in all of Scripture, because Moses, the man who would lead an entire nation out of slavery, starts his conversation with God by basically saying, Not me. Definitely not me. Please pick someone else, anybody but me. So let's jump in and take a look at this story. Moses is standing at a burning bush. God is speaking to him directly, clearly, unmistakably. The assignment is right in front of him. But Moses doesn't say yes. He says essentially, why me? This is our first version of why me. Let me read you his first response because I want you to hear how quickly the excuses come in and notice how familiar they might sound. Okay, so if we look at Exodus chapter 3, verse 11, it says, But Moses said to God, Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt? Who am I? That's the question. Not is this the right plan? Not is God capable of this, but who am I to do this? Why would you choose me? And here's the thing about Moses that I find so important to notice. He had reasons to ask that question. He had a very complicated history. If you know anything about Moses and his story, you know that he was in trouble for killing a man and had been hiding on the backside of the desert for years. He'd made serious mistakes and he wasn't an obvious choice. And he struggled with his speech. He he really didn't have confidence that he could go to Pharaoh and carry out what God was asking him to do. So from the outside looking in, and I think maybe even from the inside looking out, he genuinely could not understand why God had chosen him. And God's answer is not a list of Moses' qualifications. God doesn't say, because you're specially talented, because you've earned this, because you're the best option I have. In Exodus chapter 3, verse 11, it says, And God said, I will be with you. Hmm, that's the answer. Not here's why you're enough, but here's who goes with you. The answer to who am I is not a long list of qualifications, it's a presence. But Moses isn't done because what happens in Exodus 4 is, I think, one of the most relatable things that we can read in the Bible. God answers one question, and Moses comes back with another one, and then another one, and then another one. Five times Moses essentially says, But why me? In Exodus chapter 4, verse 1, he says, What if they don't believe me? And then in chapter 10, he says, I'm not a good speaker. Soon after that, in chapter 13, he says, please just send someone else. Now, here's what I want you to notice. God didn't lose patience with Moses for asking. He addresses every single one of his objections. He provides signs, he provides Aaron, he provides what Moses needs to have confidence. But there's a moment at the very last objection where God's answer shifts. When Moses says, please send someone else, Exodus tells us in chapter four, verse 14, then the Lord's anger burned against Moses. And I want to sit with that for a second. Not because I want you to be afraid to ask God your hard questions. We already talked about that last week. Take your hard questions to God. But I want to sit with that because I think God's response here shows us something important. There's a difference between why me, God, I don't understand, help me see, and asking, why me, God? I've already decided the answer is not me. The first question is honest seeking. The second set of questions is a decision dressed up as a question where you've already made up your mind that you're not going to do it, but you're still asking God, why me? And it kind of really doesn't matter what he might say, because you've already decided that you don't want to do it, that the answer is no. Moses had moved from a question into a conclusion. He had decided before God had even finished speaking that he was not the right person. And in doing that, he was essentially saying, I know me better than you know me. So here's where I think we find the real question underneath why me. Because Moses' struggle isn't really about his abilities, it's about his identity. He doesn't believe that God's view of him is accurate. He trusts his own assessment of himself more than he trusts God's assessment of who he really is. And I want to ask you, honestly, if that sounds familiar, because I think a lot of us are living in one of two patterns when it comes to God and our own identity. Pattern one is performing for approval. This is the pattern where we believe, somewhere underneath it all, that God's love and favor are things that we have to earn. Sometimes we think if I just pray enough, if I serve enough, if I can get my act together enough, if I can stop struggling with that thing that keeps holding me back, and if I can become the person I think he wants me to be, then maybe I'll finally feel like I belong here. This pattern makes the question of why me a question about worthiness. Why would God use someone like me when I'm still so broken in all of these places? Why would He call me when I can see exactly how much I still have to work on and fix within myself? And the exhausting part of this pattern is that it never ends because there's always something more to fix. There's always someone doing better than we are, and there is always a version of yourself that seems more qualified than where you see yourself today. And then there's pattern two. That's trusting who God says you are. This is the pattern that God was trying to move Moses into. Not you're enough because of what you can do, but you're enough because I am is with you. In Exodus chapter 3, verse 1, when I'm sorry, verse 14, when Moses asks God his name, essentially asking, Who are you that I should trust you with this? God says something that is so profound. In verse 14, God says to Moses, I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites. I am has sent me to you. I am, not I was, not I will be, I am the God who is always present, always sufficient, always enough. And he was saying to Moses, the question isn't whether you are enough. The question is whether I am is enough. And that is the shift. That is the question behind the question. We're not asking, why did you make me this way? But instead, think about do I trust that you made me to be exactly what you intended? Am I qualified for this? But maybe we're wanting to know, do I believe that your call is bigger than my limitations? We're not asking why me. We're asking, can I trust that the God who said I am is the same God who said your name? Okay, so I have to be real with you for a second, because I have prayed, why me, more times than I can count. And for a long time, I prayed it from the wrong place. I prayed it about struggles I couldn't seem to shake, patterns I kept repeating, and places where I felt stuck while everyone else around me seemed to be moving forward. And I also prayed it about my calling. In fact, I've even prayed it about this podcast. I've talked to you guys about this struggle before. There were so many moments in the beginning, and honestly, even now, sometimes where I would look at what I was being asked to do and think, why would God use me for this? I had been searching for my purpose for so long, but I still didn't really understand why this was the path that God pointed out for me. Because I'm not a great speaker, I'm not a pastor, and I didn't even listen to podcasts when I felt like I heard God leading me this in this direction. There are so many people who are so much more qualified than me. But, you know, I think God was incredibly patient with me in those moments when I was second-guessing and wondering and questioning because he kept kept bringing me back to the same truth. I feel like I was hearing God say, Melissa, you're not here because you're the most qualified. You're here because I called you here, and my call is not a mistake. And that's when I started to understand the difference between performing and trusting. Because performing says, I need to become worthy before I can step forward. Trusting says, I step forward because the one who called me is worthy. And I remind myself of this every time I sit down to write, and every time I step to this mic to share God's word with you. Moses didn't suddenly become a great speaker, but he went to Pharaoh anyway, and God was with him. Now, before we go any further, I want to pause here for a minute because I started this episode by naming three different versions of the question, why me? And we've spent most of our time with Moses, who was wrestling with the calling version. But I know that's not where most of us probably are. So I don't want to leave anyone standing outside the door. I want to bring all three back because the great I am is the answer to all of those questions. He just speaks it differently, depending on which question you're really asking. If your why me is coming from a place of suffering, if you're sitting in the ashes like Job, if you've lost something or someone you weren't ready to lose, if the hard things keep coming and you genuinely don't understand why your story has been shaped this way, I want you to hear something carefully. I am with you is not an explanation. It's not a reason. It doesn't tell you why the diagnosis came or why the marriage ended or why the call came in the middle of the night. What it does do is promise you presence inside the pain. You are not alone in the fire. You have not been forgotten in the waiting. The God who walked with the Israelites through the wilderness is walking with you through yours. And I want to be really honest with you here because I never want to rush past the lament on this on this podcast, past the raw emotions that some of these questions might bring up. Sometimes the most faithful thing you can do with why me is just keep asking it. Not because you'll get an answer or you're waiting to hear from God, but because the asking itself keeps you in conversation with God. Job never got an explanation. What he got was an encounter. And in the end, that was enough. Now, if your why me is coming from your calling, like Moses, that's where we've spent most of our time today. You don't need to be qualified, you need to be accompanied, and you are. But if your why me is coming from the mirror, if it's that quiet, persistent ache about who you are, why you struggle with what you struggle with, why you're wired the way you're wired, why you keep coming up short in the places you wish you didn't. I want to talk to those people for a second. I am with you means the God who knit you together is still with the work he made. He's not embarrassed by you, and he's not disappointed in the design, and he has never, not once, looked at you and thought he should have done it differently. The struggles you carry are not evidence that he got it wrong. They are part of the story he's writing through you, not in spite of you. And the parts of yourself you've been quietly trying to hide from him, he already saw those. And he chose you anyway. So whichever version of why me you brought with you into this episode, suffering, a calling, or identity, the answer is the same God. He just meets you in different ways. In suffering, he sits with you. In calling, he goes with you. In identity, he stays with you. So before we get to the question to carry this week, I want to give you something to actually do with this. Because remember, reflection without movement stays in our heads. So let's bring this somewhere real. This week, I want to invite you to identify your why me question. Is it a question about suffering? Why is my life so hard? Why do I keep losing the people I love? Is it a question about purpose? Why would God use someone like me? Why would he call me into this? Why would God have me raise this difficult child? Or is it a question about identity? Why did he make me this way? Why do I struggle with these things? Once you've named it, I want you to bring it to God exactly as it is. Not the cleaned up version, but the real, honest version. We have been learning how to get honest and ask the raw questions of God because we learned last week and we know that we know that He can take it. And then listen for what He says back. Because I think if you get still enough, if you climb to the watchtower the way Habakkuk did, you'll find that what God says is not a list of reasons you're qualified. It's a presence. The great I am is with you. And that has always been and So here it is. This is what we're sitting with this week. And I don't want you to just hear it, but let it land somewhere real for you before you answer it. So maybe you can ask me why me. The question behind that question why God is gently, lovingly, and persistently inviting you toward is Am I trusting God with who I am? Or am I just performing for his approval? The question isn't am I worthy enough? Or have I earned this yet? Can I trust the one who made me, who called me, who is walking with me? Can I trust that he knows exactly what he's doing? Even when I don't feel qualified, when I don't understand the assignment, and even when the gap between who I am and who I think I need to be feels enormous. Moses never became perfect. He remained a man with limitations, with fears, with a temper that eventually caused him everything. But he was also a man who walked with God, who stood on holy ground, who led an entire nation through the wilderness, not because he was enough, but because the I am was with him. And that same I am is with you. Because I know someone is listening right now who has been quietly carrying a silent doubt about themselves. Not a dramatic crisis about their faith, just a slow, persistent feeling that somehow you don't quite measure up. And I want to say something very clearly to you. You are not an accident. The way you're wired is not a mistake, and the story you've been given is not a consolation prize. The struggles you carry are not evidence that God got something wrong. Psalm 139 tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, that all our days were written in his book before one of them came to be. That is not just beautiful poetry about people who have it together. That is poetry about you, exactly as you are right now in this season of your life. The call on your life is not an error. The gifts God gave you are truly meant for you. And the place where you're standing right now, even if it's in front of your own burning bush, hearing something you're not sure you're ready for is not a place you arrived at by accident. So this week, I want to leave you with the answer God gave Moses. Not qualifications or a resume, but a promise. Exodus 3.12 says, I will be with you. That promise hasn't expired. It was true for Moses at the burning bush. It was true for every single person in Scripture who ever said, why me? And was still used anyway. And it's true for you too. Next week we're gonna stay in this series and go somewhere just as close to home. We're gonna sit with the question, what's the point? and dig deep to figure out what's really underneath it. But until then, I want you to keep asking, keep listening, and remember, you were made on purpose. You were called with intention, and the I am who made you has not changed his mind about you. So stay with it, get in God's word, keep reading, keep your hand in God's hand, and keep looking for the answers to all the tough questions. Before you go, if today's question stayed with you, I'd love to keep the conversation going. Each week, I send a short email called This Week's Question, a Quiet Invitation, and it's a simple reflection to help you stay grounded, to pay attention, to dive deeper into God's Word, and to walk with God throughout your week. You can sign up at myquestion for you dot com, bringing you encouragement for your spirit and wisdom for your walking.